


Polynomial

by PartridgeOnAPearTree



Series: Transversal [10]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 21:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5065846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartridgeOnAPearTree/pseuds/PartridgeOnAPearTree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who would you choose?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Polynomial

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! I'd like to take this moment to thank all of you who are still reading this until now. I love all of you. <3

 

Naegi’s really warm.

 

Komaeda likes taking naps in general, and he didn’t know that there still was a better sensation waiting for him. He didn’t know that the already-comfortable feeling that napping alone gives him will be further amplified if he does it with Naegi.

 

He scoots closer to Naegi and allows himself to wrap an arm around the latter… no matter how impudent doing so will be. Komaeda is the type who feels cold quite easily, and despite never asking, he can conclude that Naegi probably is the same.

 

The two of them—they dress almost similarly. Komaeda knows that his clothes tend to be too thick, so if Naegi dresses up in the same manner, then it’s reasonable to assume that he's just like Komaeda. Komaeda wonders why though because Naegi really, really is comfortably warm…

 

But then again, a person’s body warmth doesn’t have anything to do with how well they fare to the cold anyway.

 

Komaeda briefly remembers Hinata. Hinata’s warm too, possibly even warmer than Naegi, and he fares really well to the cold. He can get by with just a simple jacket—even one that’s not really too thick—and sometimes he doesn’t even wear one at all. Komaeda knows that if he tries to do that, he’ll be down with a cold probably the next day.

 

He welcomes more of his impertinence by snuggling closer to Naegi, burying his face on the latter’s back. He wonders if Naegi was already asleep, and he hopes that his action just now won’t disturb his companion’s rest.

 

Naegi slowly shifts to face his direction, and Komaeda immediately panics just slightly. What if Naegi was already about to get his sleep? What if he was ready to rest for the day, but then Komaeda decided to be a clingy pest who cannot resist snuggling closer? What if—

 

“Komaeda-kun,” Komaeda was ready to apologize endlessly, but Naegi’s soft and gentle voice immediately snaps him out from his panicky thoughts. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

 

“If it’s okay…” He replies, making sure to speak softly as well. He doesn’t want to ruin the serenity of the atmosphere for a second time. “Is Kuwata-kun not going home?”

 

Naegi shakes his head with a smile. “He said he's going to do something tonight.”

 

“I see…” Komaeda nods, feeling the softness of Naegi’s pillow under his head. “If it’s no trouble then… thank you for having me tonight.”

 

“It will never be a trouble.” Naegi whispers. “Go to sleep, Komaeda-kun.”

 

And Komaeda most willingly goes to sleep.

 

\--

 

Komaeda gets up rather violently as he looks around the room. Naegi was standing in front of a mirror—he was evidently fixing himself before Komaeda’s interruption, but he now has a worried look etched on his face, looking at Komaeda.

 

“…Komaeda-kun?” His sad frown made Komaeda feel guilty. “Did you have a nightmare?”

 

“I just…” Komaeda blinks and looks around again. “…It’s morning?”

 

Naegi nods and walks towards him, sitting at the edge of the bed. “It is... What's the problem, Komaeda-kun? I’ll help you.”

 

“It’s just that…” Komaeda forces a sheepish smile. “I'm so sorry for worrying you… I just realized that I wasn’t able to text Hinata-kun that I won’t be going home last night. I just thought that he would be worried, knowing him…”

 

“Ah.” Naegi nods again in recognition. “Don’t worry about that. I made sure to text him when you fell asleep.”

 

“You did…” Of course. Komaeda suddenly felt stupid for even panicking momentarily. Someone as dependable and responsible as Naegi, no doubt, wouldn’t forget to do something like that. “Thank you, Naegi-kun. I really can always count on you.”

 

“Don’t say things like that now, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi chuckles. “You can go back to sleep. There's still a few hours before classes will start.”

 

“Oh…” Komaeda slowly nods. “Why is Naegi-kun up so early then?”

 

“It’s about the controllable stuffed bear that I mentioned to you.” Naegi smiles. “Fujisaki-san is working really hard, and she asked me to check out her latest addition to it… I didn’t want to wake you up since you looked so peaceful just sleeping like that… I'm sorry, Komaeda-kun.”

 

“Oh, no, it’s okay, please don’t apologize.” Komaeda returns Naegi’s smile. He wanted to look reassuring too, but he supposed he still has a long way to go. There's no way that someone like him will look as reassuring as the Super High School Level Hope. “Since I'm awake now, will Naegi-kun mind if I accompany him?”

 

“Not at all.” Naegi shakes his head. “I did want to show it to you anyway. I’ll wait for you to get ready then.”

 

“I'm sorry for the trouble.” Komaeda immediately jumps off the bed. “I’ll be as fast as I can.”

 

\--

 

“Komaeda-kun?” Naegi knocks from outside the bathroom, prompting Komaeda to turn off the shower for a while. “I’ll hang the towel on the knob of this door. You can take it whenever you're done.”

 

“Oh…” Komaeda smiles even if Naegi can’t see him. The gesture of preparing a towel for him probably is so simple and shallow for other people, but he can’t help feeling really flattered about it. “Thank you so much, Naegi-kun.”

 

“No problem, Komaeda-kun.” Komaeda can almost hear Naegi smiling as well. The mere thought of Naegi’s smile makes his chest flutter. “Also… I’ll just be waiting here outside. You don’t have to rush.”

 

“No, I'm actually done already.” Whenever Naegi says that he shouldn’t rush, he truthfully feels like he should rush even more. “This will take just a second, Naegi-kun.”

 

Komaeda promptly turns on the shower again, carefully washing the possibly remaining soap bubbles on his body. Showers relax him, actually. Especially warm showers like this one. He was the type of person who takes at least two showers a day—one in the morning and one before going to bed.

 

Most of the time warm, unless the weather really calls for otherwise.

 

He turns off the shower and slightly opens the door, just ajar, and grabs the towel placed on the knob on the other side. He quickly closes the door after, and he dries himself as fast as he can. He's starting to think that he's being so disgraceful making Naegi wait like this. If only he didn’t wake up, Naegi would have gone to see Fujisaki already, and uninterrupted at that.

 

But Komaeda really just has to complicate things by merely existing.

 

He fights the urge to sigh.

 

If only he weren’t as lousy as he is.

 

\--

 

“Ah, Komaeda-kun, you're here too.” Fujisaki flashes him a warm smile, and he returns it, needless to say. Komaeda thinks that all of Naegi’s friends are good people, even the ones who don’t seem to be fond of socializing and at least smiling. He's sure that if Naegi chose someone to be his friend, they must be really nice. Probably even Enoshima, and Komaeda really is just too inferior to see that… “Did Naegi-kun mention to you what I'm going to show to you guys today? I'm really sorry for calling you guys so early, by the way…”

 

“No, it’s okay, Fujisaki-san.” Komaeda replies, in unison with Naegi. That simple display of synchronicity made Komaeda oddly happy. He turns to look if Naegi has a visible reaction of his own as well, and he wasn’t disappointed to see that Naegi was already looking at him with a smile.

 

“Komaeda-kun really wanted to see your creation anyway.” Naegi continues speaking, and Komaeda nods in agreement. “Fujisaki-san added a new feature to it, right?”

 

Fujisaki shows them yet another warm smile. “Wait here, okay?”

 

Komaeda watches her exit the room, almost as if she's in a hurry. He briefly sees himself in her—the way she's rushing at the moment to not make the both of them wait long… it’s quite analogous to him rushing earlier to not make Naegi wait long as well.

 

“Fujisaki-san really is hardworking, huh?” Naegi’s gentle voice snaps him out from his thoughts, and he immediately turns to face Naegi with a smile.

 

“I agree with that. Fujisaki-san and I don’t see each other as frequently as you and her, but from what I have seen so far, it does seem that way.”

 

“I really do hope she's not overworking herself though.” Naegi’s smile turns worried. “But then again, she seems happy with what she's doing, so… I don’t really have the heart to tell her to stop.”

 

“Naegi-kun really is too kind.” Komaeda giggles. “I'm sure Fujisaki-san is taking care of herself just fine. I think she looks quite healthy, you know.”

 

“Komaeda-kun, too…” Naegi sighs. “I get worried about you too. You're not overworking yourself, are you?”

 

Komaeda feels his own face getting warmer as he smiles. “Naegi-kun worrying about me really is flattering… but don’t worry! I'm by no means overworking myself! If anything, I'm actually quite lenient, haha! The one who's actually really worrying is Hinata-kun, you know…”

 

“Hinata-kun, huh…” Naegi slowly nods. “You did mention that he studies a lot.”

 

“That’s right. Whenever I go home, he's at his table with a book or a notebook. There are even times when he has both!”

 

“You should tell Hinata-kun to rest sometimes then.” Naegi smiles. “I'm sure he’d listen to you if you tell him how worried you are.”

 

“Really? But I get the feeling that I don’t have the right to meddle with Hinata-kun’s affairs, you know… Someone like me shouldn’t even think of going against a decision that someone like Hinata-kun made.”

 

“ _That_ worries me too.” Naegi sadly frowns. “Komaeda-kun, you're always talking down on yourself…”

 

Before Komaeda could reply, a black-and-white stuffed bear walks into the room. He can remember Naegi describing Fujisaki’s creation as unorthodox-looking, granting that it was Enoshima who designed it, and Komaeda decides that this bear quite fits that description.

 

Actually, he can even imagine Enoshima designing and sketching this bear…

 

The bear emits a muffled cracking sound, and he finds himself looking startled. The bear couldn’t be malfunctioning, could it? Someone as skilled as Fujisaki wouldn’t make a mistake like that, for sure… The symbols of hope are the most competent in their field, after all, so there's no way—

 

“Excuse me…” Komaeda couldn’t believe his ears when the cracking sound turned into a rather high-pitched articulate voice. Even Naegi beside him looked surprised. “Excuse me? Can Naegi-kun and Komaeda-kun hear me?”

 

Naegi and Komaeda tentatively look at each other before Naegi decides to speak up. “…Fujisaki-san? Is that you?”

 

The stuffed bear lets out a cracking laugh. “Sorry… I suppose it feels creepy now. The only voicebank that I have access to right now is this one… but anyway, I wanted to show you guys that I was able to add this function to it. We can now talk and the stuffed bear can project it like this. I just thought that maybe Naegi-kun can find it useful…”

 

“Amazing!” Komaeda crouches down and caresses the material of the bear. Truth to be told, he can’t find the significance of this newest addition yet, but that’s probably because he's too incompetent to even think in the same level as a Super High School Level. “Fujisaki-san, you really are a genius! All you symbols of hope are—I'm really impressed!”

 

“Komaeda-kun, you're too kind.” Fujisaki replies, and even if Komaeda can’t hear her original voice at the moment, he still was able to hear that certain flattered tone her voice probably will carry. “Naegi-kun… What do you think? If you think this feature is stupid, I can remove it…”

 

“No, actually, I agree with Komaeda-kun.” Naegi nods, eyeing the bear. “I'm sure this feature will be useful.”

 

“I'm glad…” Komaeda’s sure that Fujisaki probably sounds relieved at the moment, but the bear’s voice just made her sound mocking. “Anyway, Enoshima-san’s request… The one about the bear being able to extend itself… I have a bit of knowledge about hardware, but I realized while thinking about it last night that her request might be too much for me, after all… Komaeda-kun, if it’s okay, I’d like to meet your classmate… the Super High School Level Mechanic… only if it’s no bother.”

 

“Oh, I’d be happy to assist you, Fujisaki-san.” Komaeda happily replies. “To think that I’ll be of help to the further development of your project—of course, I’d gladly introduce you to Souda-kun!”

 

“Thank you, Komaeda-kun…” The continuous cracking sound starts again, and the light of the bear’s eyes turn off.  Komaeda guesses Fujisaki switched off its power.

 

Komaeda himself isn’t particularly close to Souda. If anything, Hinata probably is the one closest to the mechanic. But then again, Hinata’s actually really close with all their classmates, so…

 

Oh, well, Komaeda will try his best. He can’t be a letdown to a symbol of hope, after all, especially one that is Naegi’s friend and classmate.

 

\--

 

“Hinata-kun really is nice, huh?” Naegi comments one time as they're sitting next to each other on the rooftop. The breeze is getting colder and colder with each day, so they both decided to sit even closer recently. “I’ve been talking more to him nowadays, actually.”

 

Komaeda nods, leaning his head on Naegi’s shoulder. “I agree. Hinata-kun indeed is a nice person… When do you guys find the time to talk though? I never really see you two together.”

 

“Oh, sometimes, when you decide to go home to the dorm early, I walk around the campus one last time before heading back myself. If Hinata-kun happens to be around, we usually chat.”

 

“I see.” Komaeda nods in understanding. “I'm happy. That the two persons I value the most are getting along too, I mean.”

 

“We’re the two persons that you value the most?”

 

Komaeda smiles, that familiar warmth starting to spread across his face again. “That’s right… you guys are very important to me.”

 

Naegi smiles back and wraps his arms around Komaeda, resting his forehead on the latter’s shoulder. Komaeda feels his face going even warmer as he does his best to return the embrace. He knows that his gesture probably is awkward, considering that he can’t do anything right, but he hopes Naegi understands what he's trying to do.

 

“Komaeda-kun…” Naegi whispers softly. Komaeda feels himself shivering. “I have a question for you then.”

 

“Anything at all, Naegi-kun.” Komaeda whispers back. “What is it?”

 

“If you were to choose then…” Naegi tightens the embrace. It almost hurts, but Komaeda knows he wants to do his best to put up with it. “…Between Hinata-kun and I, who would you choose?”

 

\--

 

“I'm so glad you're sleeping here tonight, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi smiles warmly as he deals the both of them two cards each. Komaeda feels a tickling sensation within his chest upon seeing Naegi’s smile. “Kuwata-kun seems to be meeting up with your classmate together with Maizono-san recently… The Super High School Level Musician, I think?”

 

“Ah, right, Mioda-san…” Komaeda nods. “You did mention that Kuwata-kun expressed interest in being a musician instead of being a baseball player.”

 

 “I get the feeling that Kuwata-kun likes baseball even more so than he thinks, but don’t tell him I said that!” Naegi giggles and lays down five cards face up on the space between them.

 

“Of course.” Komaeda giggles as well before finally diverting his attention to the two cards in his hand. “Wait… Is this really strip poker? I was kidding earlier, you know, Naegi-kun…”

 

“Oh.” Naegi looks embarrassed. “Well, it wasn’t a bad idea, seeing as there's only the two of us here, but if Komaeda-kun doesn’t want to, then we can think of this as just regular poker…”

 

“Haha…” Komaeda can feel that he himself probably looks embarrassed at the moment too. “But I guess regular poker will be boring, huh? We won’t be using money, so the game won’t really have a point… It’s not like we… never saw each other naked before, and I don’t want to bore Naegi-kun, so…”

 

“If it’s really okay, then…” Naegi lays down his cards. “Pair of aces.”

 

“Oh.” Komaeda blinks at the cards that Naegi just placed down and the five cards on the table. “…Ahaha, it seems I don’t have a winning combination. How strange, that doesn’t usually happen…”

 

Naegi giggles as he takes the cards back to the deck. “Well, after this will probably come good luck, right?”

 

“That’s the thing.” Komaeda takes off his green jacket and places it beside himself. Despite the fact that there's no air-conditioning unit or something similar switched on in the room, he still finds himself shivering slightly. “I'm not sure if I identify losing to Naegi-kun as bad luck, you know. Oh, well, let’s just see what will happen.”

 

Naegi passes him the deck, and Komaeda is the one who deals this time. He places five cards face up on the space just like Naegi did earlier, and he was genuinely curious of the results this round. Luck is the only thing that he's good for, and if Naegi can top him even when it comes to that—to be fair, the Super High School Level Hope probably will be superior over someone like him when it comes to anything anyway—it still sounds pathetic somehow.

 

If even Naegi’s luck is better than his, Komaeda will really feel like he's good for nothing.

 

So more thinking hardly about it, losing to Naegi here probably would be bad luck for him, right?

 

“Pair of kings.” Komaeda slowly puts down his two cards, looking at Naegi carefully. He doesn’t know why his hands are being too simple—last round there was no combination, and right now, there's just a pair. Normally, he’d have a royal flush, a straight flush, four of a kind… “How about you, Naegi-kun?”

 

Naegi looks one last time at his hand before giggling. “I don’t have any this round.” He takes off his jacket as well, placing it atop Komaeda’s. Komaeda always thinks that the both of them dress up with rather thick clothing, but now that he puts his mind into it, he noticed that Naegi actually wears more layers than him.

 

He's wearing a jacket atop a hoodie… Komaeda’s not judging, but that only shows that Naegi might fare even worse in the cold compared to Komaeda. Komaeda wishes that he's warm enough to be a source of heat for Naegi if ever he feels especially cold.

Naegi takes the deck of cards again, repeats what needs to be done, and Komaeda checks his cards not shortly after. “Pair of nines, Komaeda-kun.”

 

Komaeda smiles and puts down his cards for Naegi to see. “Straight.”

 

“Alright.” Naegi takes off his hoodie, and it joins his and Komaeda’s jackets. It seems that today, Naegi is wearing a simple white shirt under his hoodie. Despite already winning twice, Komaeda feels like they're now in equal standing as both of them are down to their shirts. “Your turn to deal, Komaeda-kun.”

 

Komaeda deals the right amount of cards, placing five cards on the space between them after. He doesn’t know why he has no winning combination this round again—he wonders if his luck is getting scared off by going against Naegi.

 

Komaeda feels like things won’t go well if he continues losing here. Not because he's the competitive type of person, but because he gets the feeling that Naegi might start to deem him useless, and Komaeda will be left alone—

 

 

Komaeda is horrible for thinking that someone as kind as Naegi will do something like that.

 

“I got nothing for this round, Naegi-kun.” Komaeda says, almost ashamed. He doesn’t know why a simple game of poker is making him feel like this.  Maybe it’s because he knows that it’s the only thing someone like him is good for, yet he's still facing a difficulty at the moment. “How about you?”

“Two pairs…” Naegi shows him his cards. “A pair of twos and a pair of fives.”

 

Komaeda nods and takes off the skull chain attached to his pants. He watches Naegi’s reaction closely, wondering if taking off a mere accessory is acceptable, and seeing that Naegi doesn’t seem to have an objection, he places the charm on their discarded articles of clothing.

 

The next round, Komaeda gets two pairs. It’s still way worse than he's used to, but at least it’s better than nothing. “Um… A pair of twos and fours.” He doesn’t even realize that he's actually dreading losing. “How about you, Naegi-kun?”

 

“A pair of jacks and fours.” Naegi places the cards down. “Komaeda-kun… You really look worried about something… If you want to switch to another game—”

 

“No.” Komaeda quickly interrupts, letting out a wide smile. “Maybe I am worried about something, but that doesn’t really matter. I’d love to continue with this game.”

 

Naegi frowns a bit. “But I wouldn’t want to continue if Komaeda-kun is uneasy, you know… Should we talk about it first before we proceed?”

 

“Haha… Naegi-kun, you're really too kind. I swear it’s nothing big… Maybe I am just a little bit ashamed that my luck is letting me down in front of you of all people… but that’s okay, I should rightfully be ashamed. Don’t worry about me, Naegi-kun.” As if punctuating his sentence, Komaeda shimmies out of his pants. Now wearing a shirt and his boxers, at least he looks like he's just getting ready for the sleepover instead of suffering consecutive losses.

“That’s alright.” Naegi smiles a bit. “I believe in Komaeda-kun’s luck. It might not manifest right now in this card game, but still… I know that Komaeda-kun’s luck will do wonders.”

 

Despite those kind words, Komaeda ended up being stripped to his last articles of clothing because of the game.

 

And what happened after that, after being completely bare in a room with no one but himself and Naegi—

 

—That probably was his impending good luck.

 

Maybe he's being hopelessly romantic for thinking this way, but the fact that Naegi even wanted to sleep with someone like him, be with someone like him, put up with someone like him…

 

It’s kind of overwhelming.

 

Maybe he was lucky, after all.

 

\--

 

“Hinata-kun, I'm here now!” Komaeda greets as soon as he returns to the dorm the next night. Instead of Hinata’s usual place at the study table, he was on the upper bunk with a book on his lap. He puts his book down and gives Komaeda a small smile.

 

“Welcome back.” Hinata’s smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. It has always been a given that Hinata seems tired nowadays, but recently…

 

“Did Hinata-kun eat already?”

 

“I did.” Recently, he seems quieter than the usual. Hinata wasn’t the talkative type anyway, to be fair, but he isn’t really what one would call silent either. Somehow, his responses seem clipped, almost as if he doesn’t want to talk to Komaeda…

 

Not like Komaeda will judge him if that’s the case. Komaeda understands better than anyone if someone will just suddenly decide to not have anything to do with him, but if it’s Hinata, he won’t deny that that possibility might be something that he fears.

 

“That’s good. I was worried that Hinata-kun forgot to eat again.” Komaeda replies, making sure to maintain his cheer despite the abruptness in Hinata’s responses. While the possibility that he doesn’t want to talk to Komaeda ever again exists, there's also the chance that Hinata is just really even more tired recently. In that case, Komaeda will do his best to be a dependable source of comfort, even if he probably will be subpar. “What did Hinata-kun have for dinner?”

 

Hinata gestures to the sink. Komaeda immediately gets the idea that his question was stupid because just one look to that area will actually answer it. “The burger that I bought yesterday isn’t spoiled yet, so I reheated it.”

 

Komaeda looks at the container of the burger before diverting his attention back to Hinata. “Are you sure you're alright with that, Hinata-kun? You don’t want to eat rice?”

 

Hinata nods. “I'm okay. Thanks, Komaeda.”

 

Then it was silent.

 

Hinata returns to reading his book and Komaeda wonders if he should continue bringing up something to talk about or just let Hinata concentrate. Something just feels wrong—somehow, it feels like Hinata is upset about something, but then again, someone as incompetent as Komaeda probably is being impertinent by trying to anticipate the thoughts of a symbol of hope.

 

“Um, Hinata-kun—” “Komaeda, you know what—”

 

“…Huh? Oh?” “It’s nothing.”

 

“Hinata-kun…” Now Komaeda’s pretty positive that there's something wrong. “What's the matter? I know I'm not much, but I’ll do my best to help…”

 

“Yeah?” Hinata raises his eyebrows. He lets out a chuckle afterward, but Komaeda has to be stupid to think that that’s genuine. “Do you mean that, Komaeda?”

 

Komaeda furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Of course… Did I do anything wrong, Hinata-kun?”

 

Hinata closes his eyes, a hand reaching up to massage his own temples. His book is currently forgotten, simply placed on the side of the bed. “Komaeda… You're being really unfair.”

 

“…Huh? I'm sorry, but—”

 

Hinata opens his eyes, and it almost feels like he's glaring at Komaeda. He quickly realizes that Hinata never ever did that before, and deep worry starts taking root within his chest. “Look, answer this straightly.” He takes a deep breath. Hinata’s visibly trying to make himself seem less aggressive, but Komaeda’s nervousness still won’t cease. “Do you really care about me?”

 

“Hinata-kun, of course, I—”

 

“Look, if you don’t give a fuck about me, just tell. Say it to my face, Komaeda. I won’t even be offended.” Hinata’s frown deepens. “It’s better because at least it’s the truth. Go on, tell me, I'm ready.”

 

Komaeda doesn’t stop himself from frowning as well. “I don’t understand where you're getting these ideas, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Where else?” Hinata shakes his head, but he keeps his eyes on Komaeda. “Where else, Komaeda? Come on, take a wild guess.”

 

Komaeda slowly shakes his head too, his eyebrows furrowing. “I really don’t understand…”

 

“Did you ever?” Before Komaeda could even react to that, Hinata immediately adds. “Look, tell me truth. I know this sounds stupid and shallow, but did you really change your phone number?”

 

 

Komaeda’s back immediately feels cold. “Hinata-kun, first of all—”

 

“Yep. Exactly. You didn’t.” Hinata nods hurriedly, grabbing his book again. The guilt in Komaeda’s chest feels like boiling water that’s being poured on his skin agonizingly slowly. It’s not that he wanted to lie, it’s just that—

 

 

He shouldn’t be trying to rationalize his mistake.

 

He's really horrible, huh?

 

“Hinata-kun…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. Hinata isn’t even looking at him anymore. “I'm so sorry. That’s not my intention…”

 

Hinata doesn’t reply. He's back to reading his book intently, as if not hearing anything.

 

This is all Komaeda’s fault. It’s all because he wasn’t competent enough to come up with a satisfactory solution to both Hinata and Naegi’s wishes. It’s all because he wasn’t capable enough to balance both of their requests. He deserves this.

 

But despite that—

 

Komaeda grabs on the sides of the small ladder that connects the bottom bunk to the top bunk. He climbs up slowly, and Hinata still doesn’t look up from his book to face him. Despite knowing that he deserves this kind of treatment, he impertinently still wants to be forgiven.

 

“Hinata-kun…” Hinata doesn’t even flinch. “…Please hear me out.”

 

Komaeda decides to continue climbing, seeing as Hinata, despite not replying, is luckily not asking him to go away anyway. “Hinata—”

 

Komaeda stupidly stumbles on one of the steps and falls off—he himself doesn’t know how it happened because it’s such a simple task, why, why, _why_ does he have to—or at least he just thinks he falls off because he instantly feels Hinata grabbing his wrist, causing him to steady himself quickly.

 

He has his free hand grasping on the side of the ladder, and he faces Hinata who's now looking at him.

 

Worry with a hint of alarm.

 

Hinata’s still too kind. There's no mistaking it—the look on his eyes indeed is worry. Despite the fact that Komaeda has wronged him, he still was worried about Komaeda possibly falling off the ladder. Considering that Komaeda’s pretty tall, he probably could have landed well even if he did lose his grasp, but Hinata still was worried anyway…

 

The thought is flattering.

 

They just wordlessly look at each other like that—Hinata strongly holding Komaeda’s wrist and Komaeda firmly grasping on wood. All signs of Hinata’s previous anger were gone, and in their place stood concern instead.

 

“I'm sorry…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “I can’t even climb up to Hinata-kun’s bed properly… I’d understand if you'd decide to hate me, but I… honestly want to request Hinata-kun to listen to me.”

 

Hinata closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. Komaeda wonders if he's aware that he's also tightening his hold around Komaeda’s wrist. “…You know I can never hate you even if I tried, right?”

 

Komaeda was about to reply, but Hinata decides to interrupt him by continuing to speak. “I'm sorry for losing my cool… I should know that once again, you probably have a good reason for doing that.”

 

Hinata helps him climb to the top bunk, and when he finally does, they share another couple of silent minutes. Komaeda starts formulating his explanation in his mind, wondering if he does deserve this chance, or if he should just suck it up and deal with Hinata being upset with him forever.

 

“Hinata-kun…” He starts anyway. He was staring at his own hands that he didn’t realize were already fiddling with each other. “…I promise I really regret what I did. As I said, I really didn’t want to lie to you… I apologize, Hinata-kun. I'm so sorry.”

 

Even without looking up to face Hinata, Komaeda somehow gets the feeling that he has his eyebrows furrowed at the moment. “Why did you do it then…?” His voice was soft now, quite contrary to its tone earlier. Komaeda is flattered because he thinks that Hinata has every right to shout at him.

 

“I did mention to you that Naegi-kun specifically requested me not to change my number even before your request…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “I know Naegi-kun will understand if I suddenly change it in hopes of comforting Hinata-kun… but when you mentioned that it was because of an anonymous person possibly texting me, I thought that I can put up with whatever they’ll tell me, so… I decided to just use a separate number so I can help alleviate your worries at least… I promise it never was my intention to make you feel betrayed, Hinata-kun. I'm sorry.”

 

Hinata blinks. Komaeda notices that his expression immediately softens even more. “You're… not saying this just to make me feel better again, are you?”

 

Komaeda shakes his head. “Not at all. I mean what I'm saying this time… I'm sorry.”

 

Hinata bites his lower lip. For some reason that Komaeda can’t comprehend, it’s starting to seem like it’s even Hinata who's guilty at the moment. “No, I… shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I really should just stop assuming things. It makes me cause trouble not just for myself but for the others around me… so I'm sorry too, Komaeda.”

 

“It’s alright. Hinata-kun wouldn’t have been upset if it weren’t for me.” Komaeda sheepishly smiles. “I have so much to make up to you already, haha… I really am the troublesome one here, huh?”

 

“Not at all…” Hinata bites his lower lip again. “…Can I hug you? To, uh, make it up to you, I mean… I should be the one apologizing instead of you. I mean, the hug— only if it’s, uh, okay, of course. If you don’t want to, I’ll think of something else.”

 

“It’s okay.” Komaeda smiles wider this time and decides to initiate the hug. He can’t see Hinata’s facial expression, but he deeply wishes that he was able to make Hinata smile at least, even if it were a small one. “You can hug me anytime, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Yeah…” Komaeda feels Hinata leaning his chin on his shoulder. “It’s, uh… what best friends do.”

 

“I agree.” Komaeda closes his eyes.

 

 

Hinata’s really warm.

 

\--

 

“Naegi-kun, that’s a really weird question…”

 

“I thought so…” Naegi slowly pulls away, and Komaeda wonders if that’s because he gave a displeasing reply. “I didn’t want to make Komaeda-kun uncomfortable. It’s just that… I guess I was worried, after all. Even if I keep on saying that I shouldn’t get jealous…”

 

“Hinata-kun is just a really special friend to me, but that’s as far as it goes, Naegi-kun.” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “…But if it’s going to make you comfortable, I’ll do my best to avoid—”

 

“No.” Naegi immediately interrupts, alarm all over his features. “No, you don’t have to do that again, I'm so sorry… I guess it will just reassure me if you… say that you'll choose me. Will you…? Komaeda-kun?”

 

Here it is again.

 

An apparent evidence of Komaeda’s incompetence.

 

There probably is something wrong with how he's expressing his affections. Actually, no, maybe he's not being affectionate enough in the first place. Knowing him—an awkward person who has the tendency to fail in almost anything—it wouldn’t be surprising if he's actually making Naegi feel lonely. That’s why…

 

“…I’d choose you.” Komaeda knows that he means these words, but for some reason, they leave a bad aftertaste in his mouth. “Of course I’d choose you, Naegi-kun. Hinata-kun _is_ important to me, but… Naegi-kun will still always be a different case from everyone…”

 

Naegi lets out a deep relieved sigh. Komaeda’s happy at least that even if he knows that he probably looks unreliable, his words were still able to reassure Naegi. Komaeda wraps his arms around the other, hoping that he’ll be sufficient at least this once.

 

“I appreciate it, Komaeda-kun.” He feels Naegi’s hand slowly caressing his back. “Thank you… I’ll always, always remember these words.”


End file.
